Funerals & Saying Goodbye
Above all, each funeral ceremony is about the unique individual whose passing we are marking and whose life we are celebrating. What I design in close consultation with the deceased’s loved ones is respectful while celebrating this person and all the memories they leave.
The ceremony doesn’t have to be gloomy or morose; when the worst has happened I try to do something which is about saying goodbye, celebrating all that they were and beginning the process of healing. Sometimes people ask, ‘if you don’t have a faith, why have a funeral?’ I believe that it is all the more important for those who don’t have a matter of faith to come together in solidarity and show their feelings.
Human beings create ritual to mark every major event in their lives – we have given ownership of this up to others, so that rather than something we might just have done naturally, most of us don’t know how. I see it as a key part of my role to help people rebuild that. We don’t just do things because they are prescribed, but as a conscious choice.
A part of the way I conduct the ceremony is to guide people through it all, so that the very difficult experience of being at a grave or a crematorium is made as easy as possible for those concerned.
I seek to be inclusive – what I do also offers meaning and closure to those who do have a faith, so that all those who come together to remember the deceased have a chance to do so in whatever way feels right to them.
See how I can help
“I just wanted to pass on our sincere thanks for the service you gave for my Dad last Friday. So many people spoke to Mum and I about how lovely it had been and those that hadn’t known my Dad that well felt like they did by the end of the day. You set a lovely relaxed mood which made it easier for me to say my tribute and I was delighted that people applauded when Mum and I spoke. I have never been to a funeral before where people clapped the speakers but it felt absolutely appropriate that they did. This was very much due to the tone you set early on.”
“I am writing to say ‘thank you’ on behalf of all family and friends who attended J——‘s funeral. We all found it to be both moving and uplifting and a fitting celebration of a life well lived! Your delivery was both respectful and humorous as well as appropriate and I would like to thank you again for doing such a grand job.”
“Words are just not enough to thank you for C—-‘s funeral on Friday, I can’t tell you how many people have said to me how much they enjoyed the funeral! You have a special gift.”